MADERA - In this day and age when someone meets adversity at the levels Diana Olivarria has, many people would just give up or play the "why me" victim card. Not Diana, that is not in the nature of this woman. This August Ms. Olivarria turns 55 years of age and will receive her masters degree in Early Childhood Development with an emphases on autism. In 2011 she received her bachelors of arts from Fresno Pacific University in the same discipline but with a focus towards education. During that time she also created an organization from her living room to help families affected by autism at no charge to the parents.
Helping children and families with autism has been her passion since her own son, Julian, was diagnosed with the disorder at two years old. Ironically that was the same age that her own life drastically changed when her mother and her were forced to move away from Madera by her father's family. Her father is the Madera County Supervisor from District Four and the Madera Families First Five chairman, Max Rodriguez.
Diana's mother Virginia Olivarria fell in love with her childhood sweetheart while they attended Madera High School in the late 1950's. Rodriguez graduated in 1958 while Virginia graduated in 1960. A year later a baby was coming but there was an obstacle in the way of their happiness. Josephine Rodriguez, Max's mother, did not approve of the couple and had someone else in mind for her son's hand in marriage.
Diana suggests that Josephine's motivation may have been that the Olivarria family worked the fields in the area and that the other woman Max was dating came from what Josephine perceived as a higher class of Mexican with land and money. She says that her mother told her that Josephine refused to let Max speak Spanish in the house and that the woman was embarrassed about her heritage. When she filled in 1940 United States Census Josephine listed her family's race as "white" despite listing her birthplace as "Mexico". Though this was not uncommon at the time.
One day when Virginia went to the Rodriguez home on B Street in Madera to pick up her two-year old daughter Diana who was visiting Max, Josephine told her to never come back. The matriarch of the Rodriguez family told the 20 year old woman that Max was going to marry another women and no one needed to be confused about who Max's real family was going to be. Soon after that Max married his wife of 53 years Sarah, sister to the wife of former Madera County Supervisor Jess Lopez, Sr. The Rodriguez' soon welcomed their first of three children, Barbara, to Max's legitimate family. Now feeling outcast, Virginia and their child moved away from their home and family in Madera to restart their lives in Santa Clara County.
For the next sixteen years Diana was raised away from her father in the care of her mother and Maternal grandmother. Diana said, "I think the reason I am the way I am today is because Max wasn't around while I was growing up. My mother and grandmother always told me I can be anything I wanted to as long as I worked for it and never put limitations on me. Had my mother stayed with Max I am certain I would not be able to speak, read, write or even sing in Spanish. That would not have been allowed."
During this time Max tried his hand at college life but had to leave school shortly after to support his young family and mother. His father, Maximo Rodriguez Sr., was an alcoholic and another embarrassment to Josephine. While she would not divorce him, he was not around the family in any significant way and died of what Diana believes was alcoholism in November of 1965.
Max took to the fields to work the crops but soon found "easier" work in the lumber mills. He began to work for American Forest Products, also known as the North Fork Lumber Mill, where he worked for 25 years. While employed at the sawmill, Max became the financial secretary and president for the Lumber and Sawmill Workers Union (Local 2762).
In 1985 Max's mother Josephine died. This was also the same year the Sawmill closed and Max tried his hand at insurance. Max became a Farmers Insurance Agent and maintained an office of West Olive Avenue near his alma mater until he retired in 2008 four years after being elected to the Madera County Board of Supervisors. Despite the fact that Max never financially or emotionally supported his daughter, Diana recalled wanting to meet her father in 1985 but when she tried to contact him, Max refused to meet with her. She remembers him questioning, "Why do we need to meet?"
Diana said that during one phone conversation with Max he told her, "I will not acknowledge you as my daughter as long as my wife is still alive." She answered him back with, "Then I hope she lives forever."
During the next ten years Diana's mother, Virginia became friends with Max's insurance partner Joe Martinez. When she was in Madera she would stop by the West Olive insurance office, but Max would conveniently be gone. She would leave photos of Diana and Diana's children which Max would keep in the top drawer of his desk. Diana said her mother liked to sit in Max's leather chair in his office because it made her feel close to Rodriguez. She said she felt like he was holding her.
Diana said that even though her mother married her step father when she was 11 years old, her mother loved Max until the day she died. Which tragically happened in 1996 when Virginia was only 54 yrs old. Virginia's father Manuel (Diana's grandfather) was living in Arizona at the time and had been seriously ill. Virginia decided to travel to Arizona to help care for him. Her car was not dependable enough for such a long trip, so she had planned to stop in Madera along the way to switch cars with Diana. But as she was driving over Pacheco Pass a truck driver passed over into her lane of traffic. She was hit head-on by the 18 wheeler and killed instantly. Then Diana learned that only eight days later her Grandfather had also died of the illness he had been battling.
Diana remembers that Max had offered to help with her Mother's funeral expenses but that she felt that her mother was her responsibility and since they had both taken care of themselves without any help from him so far, refused his offer. She said that she had learned from a friend who saw Max on that the day she told him her mother was killed and he was visibly upset.
Following the death of her mother she received a $700,000 court settlement from the trucking firm that was involved in the accident. According to the California Highway Patrol the truck driver, Pablo Carabajal, had a history of reckless driving with many citations in the year prior to the accident. The CHP had intended to arrest Carabajal but he fled the area and has never been found. "I will never forget that name.", Diana said.
The attorney she hired to help her manage the court settlement sent her monthly payments so she could take care of her family. However a couple years later the payments stopped coming and the attorney disappeared with the remainder of the money. When the attorney, Richardo Amor, was found in the Los Angeles area nearly all the money was gone. The California Bar Association disbarred Amor and Diana was able to recover enough of the money to buy a new house for her family. Even with the loss of the majority of the settlement money, Diana feels blessed that she was able to provide a new home for her family.
When Diana placed her mother's obituary in the Madera Tribune she listed Max as her father and for the first time the general public knew the secret that the Rodriguez family had been keeping for over 30 years; Max Rodriguez is Diana Olivarria's father. The only secret Diana still hasn't discovered the answer to is why her father followed his mother's instructions and turned his back on her when she was just two years old and never took financial responsibility. Why did he never once pay child support for his first born daughter, but gave his legitimate children (Barbara, Karen and Mark) the world?
"I honestly wonder if this is what an adopted person feels. There has always been a void in my life.", Diana told us during an interview last month. While Diana never understood why her mother loved Max Rodriguez all those years, her mother in turn never understood why Diana wanted to meet her biological father. "My mother would say, 'You never needed a gallon of milk or a pair of shoes from him."
But according to Diana there were times when her father would try to be there for her or her kids. "Max seemed to be at all the important events for my kids. When my son Peter graduated from high school Max was there and gave him a card with a hundred dollar bill in it. I never saw him but he was there. His business partner Joe Martinez is my daughter's god-father."
She also tells of a time when her daughter miscarried a baby and the hospital refused to turn the child over for Christian burial. Max stepped in and had the body released to the funeral home and paid for all of the funeral expenses.
As a member of the Madera County Board of Supervisors, Max is also the chairman of the Madera County Families First Five agency and this is also where Diana meets with parents with autistic kids like her son. At the facility she is able to help parents deal with autism and how parents can teach their children to cope with the stresses of every day life. "It's like I have told my son Julian, he lives in my world. I do not live in his."
It's this different attitude towards parenting an autistic child that sets Diana's methods apart from traditional teaching. "Julian needed to learn to cope in my world, so we take baby steps introducing him to it. We would go to Walmart early in the morning when they first opened. Then the next time we went we would go a little later when there was more people. After a while I could take him to the store any time and he would not be affected. Sometimes its about developing a routine, but Julian knows when its time to go, we go."
If there was anything Julian needed Diana says that she knows she could count on Max to help out as long as his name is kept out of it. "He never mentioned that he was ever concerned about his children's thoughts of her existence. It always seemed he didn't want Sarah (his wife) to know he was doing anything for us."
There came a point in her life when she realized what was truly important. "In my mother's eyes I could do no right. My father threw me away and won't acknowledge my existence. At this point in my life I have reconciled to this one truth, the only thing that matters is that I am doing what pleases God."
Through her GLAD program, Guidance and Love for Autistic Dependants, there are several parents that can attest to the fact that Diana has dedicated her life to helping these parents and their autistic kids make connections that are improving their lives. One can't help but believe that in doing this, she is pleasing God.
I asked her one last question after our three hour interview. If she could ask her father one question what would it be? She answered, "To be honest with me and tell me why YOU would never let me come back when I was just a child? I want him to accept responsibly and MAN UP for his actions."
That is a question that Mr. Rodriguez may never answer to his daughter. But what's remarkable is that isn't stopping her from continuing with her life and working toward her goal of becoming a social worker helping the families of autism. It isn't going to stop her from enjoying her life with her husband, five kids and six grand-kids. It isn't going to stop Diana from living her life in the service of others.
In anyone's eyes, despite all odds, Diana Olivarria is a success.
----------------------
Big Valley News has solicited opinions and rebuttals to Ms. Olivarria's story from Madera County Supervisor Max Rodriguez and his wife Sarah. We provided them with advance copies of the story, however they have refused to comment.
